Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Plans
Was there a time when you are planning something – a small or big business, writing a book, going on a vacation or building your dream house.
Planning – or to be more specific – dreaming of doing something big will excite you. You plan and draw, then plan and compute, then plan again. Your brain cells are clicking and ideas are racing through your head. You feel the power of Grayskull coursing through your soul!
You can’t help yourself, you imagine the end goal. This DREAM – this accomplishment will shape your life. You are so f’kin pumped up about your plans!
The excitement is positively charging your life that you just have to share this with someone close to you. Someone you can share your dreams and aspirations. Maybe your wife or husband, girlfriend or boyfriend, Mom or Dad. You share your plans in all it’s glory. Can you guess what happens next?
Telling people about your plans is GOOD, right?
When you tell someone that you are going to do something BIG, something FANTASTIC.. something that you have been planning since you were a kid. You are actually doing two things.
- You are giving yourself an audience. An audience that you do not want to disappoint. An audience to watch you achieve your goals, plans or dream. Someone to share your winning moment.
- You are seeking validation or confirmation that your idea is a great one and worth pursuing.
Both cases can give you extra motivation and inspiration. But more likely, sharing your dreams with others is doing you more harm than good. Harm you how?
Telling people your plans drain your Positivity and Motivation
And you say — NO WAY ! I tell my wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend everything! Why would I hide this from those who care about me? If I share my plans and dreams with someone I love, it gives me more motivation! I feel more positive! This claim is rubbish!
I read this somewhere a long time ago and I have experienced this multiple times. It’s just now that I’m writing and sharing (gasp!) about it.
Sharing your big idea is like having SEX or Orgasm. Or love making for the romantics out there.
For the initiated. You know this already.
When you’re doing the deed, your mind is blazing, your heart is beating faster, eyes roll, etc etc etc. You know the drill. I don’t want to turn this into a Rated-R post.
Compare this when you are telling your big plan to someone. This conversation inspires you and gives you an overall happy feeling. This special person would probably agree, give you the “thumbs up” and provide all the validation you need. You feel GREAT! You feel F’ckin GREAT!!
Then what happens? To continue the sex, love making or orgasm metaphor.
You reach your “peak”. You are short of breath, panting, maybe even sweating.
The moment passes and you relax. You either sleep or take a break to eat. You don’t feel like doing anything else. This my friend, is called idea or mental orgasm. Again — Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Plans.
The Internet Cafe of my Dreams
It is said that when you share you vision or plans conversationally (talking, email, SMS, etc) a reaction is triggered in your brain. Your brain makes mental images of your plans. The same time you are talking, your brain is creating your exact dream scenario. This imagined mental dream scenario plus your conversational actions create something “almost real”.
Let’s say you are dreaming of having your own Internet Cafe. You visualize and you share this with someone. In the midst of your conversation, you can picture the Internet Cafe. The shiny new computers, the smell of new paint, the chattering of customers and all the money coming in. You’ve heard of the term “I can almost see it”, right?
This gives you a sense of achievement. It’s not real but it does give you a sense of achievement. Have you ever wondered why planned vacations normally ends up cancelled and a quick unplanned trip results in a vacation?
“Mabuti pa ang lakad na hindi planado, natutuloy” , right? Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Plans.
It was so Real and then you do nothing
Our brain is a very powerful computer but it lack outer senses. When your brain “sees” your plans and you talk about it. It interprets this as reality. When you say something smells like a rotten fish, your brain “smells” this and registers a smelly odor. If you suddenly remember breaking your ankle during a basketball game, your brain “feels” the pain again and you cringe from the memory.
When you tell someone about your big idea, you kick start the mental process of visualizing it and how successful it will be – syempre, think positive.
This somewhat convinces your “unconscious” mind that it has already happened. That’s why you have a feeling of accomplishment because your mind manufactured a complete and successful picture of your dream.
Did you get the theory? Telling someone about your dream Internet Cafe (or any dream idea) is almost as rewarding and fulfilling as actually building and achieving your dream. This feel good rush of emotions can derail you from actually making your idea a reality. Once the feeling passes you relax, you feel contentment and then you do nothing.
And that’s when you get positive reinforcements, what if…
You tell your big plans and the person you are talking to downplays it. Spewing forth daggers like “that is so hard, it’s almost impossible”, “you can’t do that, you don’t know a thing about that business” and the classic line “san ka kukuha ng pera para dyan?” (where will you get money to do that?).
When this happens, instead of forming positive thoughts. Your brain is influenced by the negative comments and it unconsciously visualizes a bleak future. One where your dreams will fail and bring you nothing but pain, an empty pocket and a f’cked up ego.
No one wants that and since your brain painted such a convincing picture of your impending failure. You decide consciously that your idea must not be that good in the first place. You then put it behind you and move on.
I too have done this many times
We are all guilty of this idea sharing and to prove it I’ll SHARE some of my experiences. Being a horror story fan, I have always dreamed of writing horror stories and I got some very scary cool ideas. One particular story tells the tale of an “Aswang” town in the midle of Manila. Interesting right?
In my excitement, I did the mistake of telling the synopsis to a close friend . I have’nt written anything yet so I’m telling the plot as I imagined it.
Since it’s only a idea, I don’t have all the details to elevate the story to something concrete. As I was telling the story, although the person is listening intently, I found that I’m contracting myself. I was starting to doubt the very same story that I imagined. The plot holes were so obvious, so many unnecessary characters and I ended up thinking that the story was so dumb. I actually felt embarrassed mid way to my story telling. Until now, I still can’t get myself to write this Horror Masterpiece.
But, when I built my first Playstation 1 Gaming Shop, I did very little talking. I planned everything by myself. I went to Greenhills to canvas the prices, check hardware stores for construction materials and roamed around my neighborhood to check for competing shops. When I was ready to proceed, that’s when I asked my Mom to lend me a small backyard space. Construction began shortly and in about a month I have my very own business.
You see the difference? In my horror story scenario, I prematurely shared the intimate details of my plan. I don’t even have a write up or storyboard. All I had was an idea and ideas are worthless. In the second scenario, I planned and thought of everything. Once I was ready I executed and made my idea a reality.
“Oy, why are you inquiring about that vacant space? What are you planning?”
“Wow, why are you studying that? Where will you use it?”
“Pards, dami mo na naipon na pera ah, ano ba balak mo na negosyo?”
How will you answer these friendly and innocent questions? Pick from below:
- Well, I’m still planning. You will see.
- Basta pards, tingan mo na lang.
- I’ll tell you once I have it all ironed out
- Love, medyo magulo pa yung plan. I’ll tell you everything once ok na. I promise
From short and sweet to just plain sweet. These responses should suffice and deflect the discussion to another topic. Just don’t be rude and most people will understand that you are not yet ready to share. Again, Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Plans.
Dreaming of owning an Internet Cafe
Since this is DIY Internet Cafe, let’s apply what I’m preaching to the Internet Cafe business.
If you don’t have an Internet Cafe but very passionate to have one for yourself. Start planning, read hardware and game reviews, study computer repairs, Windows installation, etc. Go to stores and check prices, I find it best to see the items physically. Do this WITHOUT telling anyone that you are planning to open an Internet Cafe.
Use your pent up excitement to drive you towards your dream. Visualize the end goal then execute. If you tell someone your plans you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to succeed. You have a new set of eyes eagerly awaiting your launch date and a new set of mouths asking for updates. You don’t need this so you should not ask for it.
Seek advice if necessary but keep the vision to yourself. Don’t post your plans on Facebook in the hopes of getting motivation and advice. Study, plan and execute – don’t talk. Don’t Tell Anyone About Your Plans.
That’s it! Sana makatulong ito sa mga kapwa Internet Cafe/Shop owners.
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